After The Wedding – From Princess For A Day To Goddess For A Lifetime
February 21, 2023 Category :Generals Off
The future is made of the same stuff as the present.
-Simone Weil, 20th century French writer
A wedding is a microcosmic slice of “real life” where everything is magnified, sped up, and exaggerated. No wonder things can get rather emotional under such a heady spotlight. However, a wedding is still your “real life”-life hasn’t stopped (although it may have gotten a bit surreal!). You just entered the space called a rite-of-passage. And rites-of-passage are designed to shake you up a bit-to wake you up so you are more sure-footed along this path of change and transition.
A rite-of-passage is a time of intentional pause, an opportunity to look deep into your heart to hear the answer to the question, “Am I sure?”-an answer your inner spirit knows, and your job is to trust it.
From Bride to Partner
I have often said to brides: How you “be” in planning your wedding is how you will “be” in your marriage. So now the wedding is over-no spotlight, no wedding planner, no attendants looking out for you-it’s just you and him and a broad, open horizon. What’s next? More of the same (obsessing over minutia-nuts or mints?) or are you ready to become a woman more settled in your own skin, more grounded and confident enough to open your heart to your partner completely?
Remember the expression: How you do anything is how you do everything. So wake up!
If you were aware that your time as a bride was a rite-of-passage-a time of inner growth and self discovery that had a beginning, middle and end-you are ahead of the game. If you were not aware of this rather primal process, ’tis okay, you are still in the game because this next phase-newly wed, marriage partner, a couple-is the beginning of another rite-of-passage!
What the heck is a rite-of-passage and why does it keep following you around? It seems that a woman’s life is a series of evolving rites of passage-rituals of exploration and change, moving you into, through, and out of growth experiences all along the way-bumpy, smooth, and somewhere in-between.
Here’s the Secret
But here’s the secret: rites-of-passage are also designed to make life simpler. Once you step into the ceremonial nature of a rite-of-passage, its intuitive rhythm takes over, and by trusting the process, you surrender to its wise direction. The rite-of-passage invites you to trust and focuses you toward the process, the journey of life-instead of the content, the stuff! (Sure, the color of your bouquet or the size of the television can be relevant decisions during wedding or house planning, but just not the focus in building a relationship-and that’s what this is all about!)
I remember a teacher of mine from years ago, Dr. Ken Anbender, said something like: The key to any relationship is the answer to this question: What are we building here? Whether you are a bride planning a wedding, a newly wed beginning marriage, an “old married lady,” or you’re single with a significant other-you are either building an empowering relationship or taking away from it.
Back to that question at the beginning: “Am I sure?” Are you sure you’ve included your open mind and open heart in building a loving, supportive relationship?
Being aware that you are part of the bigger picture of life is the job of the rite-of-passage. The process acts as a reminder for you to focus on your heart’s desire, on how deeply you can connect to your partner, how you can be someone who gives and receives love generously-whether you feel like it or not!
Now carry that woman into your relationship, your marriage, your family and you are well on your way to be a goddess for a lifetime!
[With a background in fashion publications at Vogue magazine, Cornelia Powell has been an innovative entrepreneur for over three decades. Becoming known as “the bride’s sage” and “a woman’s folklorist,” her store in Atlanta in the 1980s and 90s was nationally recognized — a haven for “grown-up brides” and romantics everywhere — and touted as “magically unique, a women’s dream.”